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Help Typing Me Would Be Much Appreciated
How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I'm 18 years and 9 months old. Male. I'm loud and talkative, love telling stories and making people laugh. I'm often told that I'm incredibly funny. Interestingly, one day someone will tell me I'm smart as hell but the next day the same person would say I'm the dumbest guy they've ever met. I've been called charismatic a handful of times but called an asshole just as many. To elaborate on that, at a church retreat, someone left me an anonymous note saying that I'm super funny but also super blunt and can be offensive. However, most people do enjoy my presence for sure. I may give off a carefree, relaxed vibe, but on the inside, I deeply crave the approval of those around me.
I like to have fun and have deep conversations about completely random stuff. Not very good at sports or with my hands.
Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
None that I know of and I sure as hell hope I don't have an underlying condition.
Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I come from a Catholic family. Went to church every Sunday and went to Catholic school for all of elementary, middle, and high school. As a little boy, I blindly accepted everything I was told by my family and teachers about religion and assumed it was all true. By the time I entered middle school, I became more interested in the validity of Catholicism and the reasoning behind most of its teachings, and by the end of high school I found myself studying theology and philosophy (not just Catholic philosophy.) I believe that God exists and agree with Catholic teachings on morality based on extensive thinking, independent studying, and what I've learned in my theology classes. However, I don't use the Bible/Church teachings when I'm interested in learning something scientific and I rely on it for philosophy, understanding morality, and human nature.
Knowing and understanding the faith is completely different from living it though so you would not be able to tell I have such an appreciation for religion/philosophy/theology by observing my actions alone.
What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
No job. First-year in college. It's entirely online due to COVID but it's not terrible. The lectures would probably be of the same quality as they would be otherwise but I really just want the social aspect. It's much harder to meet new people this way and I went to an all-boys school so some female interaction would be great lmao.
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I've never had to spend a weekend by myself. Not even an entire day. At least one other person was always at home (Dad, Mom, or brother). Sometimes I end up left alone for the day and when I find out I feel so relieved that I finally get some alone time. But after a few hours alone I'd end up getting bored as hell and craving social activity so I'd text or call my friends. If COVID wasn't a thing I'd probably just randomly pull up to one of their houses and force them to entertain me.
What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
Terrible at sports. Tried basketball and rugby but sucked at both and never found too much enjoyment. If I'm with my friends and they're all playing a sport I would play because I'd rather because it's better than being alone. I'd do it apprehensively and be nervous about messing up and embarrassing myself, but give me a few minutes and I'll be having lots of fun and laughing at myself whenever I mess up. A couple of times when everybody was ready to finish playing spike ball I'd be so into it that I'd complain and pester them to keep going cuz I didn't want it to end. I would say that most of the enjoyment came from doing it with my friends that the sport itself, though.
I love to play Texas Hold'em. It's fun trying to read people. Planning your next move even though you don't know what the next card will be is both exhilarating and stressful. The best part is you have the chance to win money.
I like to just kick back with my friends and talk. Maybe play board games. I don't play videogames.
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas than you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
Normally I'm curious about lots of things, but ever since lockdown started a few months ago, I've been incredibly interested in personality theories like the MBTI, Big 5, and Enneagram. Partially because of genuine curiosity in the theories, partially because quarantine has given me nothing but time to introspect and analyze myself, and partially because it would be valuable for me to understand myself at this point in my life going forward because it would help me with career decisions.
For most of middle and high school, I had a strong interest in history. I found it fascinating because it covers lots of topics (politics, economics, culture, etc.) and it lets us know how we got to where we are today. It gives us lots of tools for improvement and also lets us see things from different perspectives. A result of my interest in history is my interest in economics because it's interesting seeing how people behave, what they find important, and learning how to operate in the current system, and coming up with ways to improve it.
I like watching video essays on YouTube about the themes and meanings of fictional works like movies, tv shows, and manga/anime. Not books though, I never had the patience to read fictional books. A lot of my time on the internet is spent watching YouTube videos that dissect the themes and characters of a given literary work.
I'm not curious when it comes to things like cars, plumbing, or electrical work. My Dad is a real handyman who knows how all of those things work and he tries to teach me but I don't have much interest in them, but I always help him out. And even while I'm doing those activities with him, I drift off and think about all of the things listed above this paragraph.
I ran and got elected for student council in high school because I had lots of ideas for how to improve my school and make things interesting and fun, but when I won and the time came for implementing those ideas I got lazy and a few of my ideas never came to fruition. (I'll talk more about this in the question about leadership.)
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I have an interesting relationship with leadership. I'm only 18 so I haven't had many experiences with leading, but I will elaborate on the few that I have.
If I'm at the bottom of a hierarchy and I don't like the decisions being made I will constantly question them and I won't be afraid to bring this up to whoever is in charge. I like to think that I'm good at identifying problems and coming up with effective ways for them to be addressed. However, if I make my way to the top of said hierarchy, I can become complacent because I'm finally at the top, or stagnant because I fear that the methods I come up with will fail. I ran for class office because I thought I could run things more effectively, but I hated having the decision ultimately be left up to me. I would become indecisive because I was afraid of failing, afraid of being rejected because I was incompetent and unintelligent, or because I didn't have much time to come up with a thorough, well-thought decision. I enjoy leading because of the freedom and opportunity it gives, but I dislike it because of the responsibility. Since I become frustrated when I'm unable to contribute when a decision is being made but collapse under pressure when I'm the number one in charge, I think I'd work best as an advisor of sorts.
I am absolutely terrible under pressure and I cannot understate this. I think I do better under pressure (although still incredibly terrible) when I'm by myself because I don't have to worry about how others. I worry about others not out of genuine concern but because they might point out flaws in my ideas and we won't act at all or they'll just fuck it up. I hate it when people I work with fuck up because I can't improve them the way I could improve myself after.
I loved working with my school president in senior year of high school. I highly suspect he was an ENTJ because he had clear visions and was excellent at making them become a reality. Even when we weren't working on projects you could feel the Te. I liked working with him cuz he was smarter than me which meant I could kind of screw around and he would make sense of something dumb that I said and we could execute that idea. He would generate lots of good ideas too and I would just find ways to poke them to see if they held up.
If I had to lead again, I'd set a few general goals, and delegate certain jobs to people that I believe are competent and give them lots of freedom to do what they see fit. I wouldn't have selected them if I didn't think they were capable of thinking on their own. I'd simply make sure that I'm involved in major decisions and that we're moving closer to our goals and not away from the vision.
Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I am absolutely uncoordinated. I am the opposite of coordinated and am one of the clumsiest people I know. I accidentally walk into the doorways all the time and trip easily. Can't even throw a ball properly. I have terrible control over my body and suck at physical activities like sports and don't care too much for working with my hands. The only thing I do with my hands is playing guitar but I only started teaching myself recently.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forms of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I appreciate art but can't create it. I can appreciate a good song but that's mostly if it's catchy and not because I understand its artistic value. As mentioned in one of my answers above, I appreciate movies/tv-shows/anime/manga.
What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
The past is done but we can learn a lot from it. I love reminiscing on happy times. Not to say that I'm currently unhappy, but that doesn't mean I can't still gain happiness from the past. The future is filled with possibilities but I get so caught up in thinking about it that I sometimes don't focus too much on the present.
How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
If it's a small task like handing them something that I'm next to there's no problem. If it's a bigger issue where my help isn't absolutely necessary but it's an important task that they can do themselves, I'll insist that they do it. I may help them figure out how to do it but I won't do it myself. If them being slow would somehow affect me negatively, I might go out of my way to help them.
Do you need logical consistency in your life?
When making important decisions I like logical consistency. If I'm just having fun I'll be impulsive and just do whatever seems cool as long as it isn't physically dangerous ( I am a coward when it comes to anything mildly physically threatening.)
How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
If I care about something I will want it to be done efficiently. If I'm forced to do something that I don't really care about or won't affect me, I won't care much for getting it done efficiently and will probably think about something else.
Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I don't consider myself manipulative and don't care what people do for the most part as long as it doesn't affect me. I'll definitely be irritated by someone and might think of a better way to do things if I see them doing something the wrong way, but I usually won't go out of my way to stop them. If I'm in a group and feel strongly about what we should do or how we should do it, I will definitely let my thoughts be heard.
What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
I like reading/watching anime/manga/movies/tv-shows because the action is fun and the stories are compelling. I also like watching YouTube videos about science, economics, psychology, or anything educational. I enjoy thinking about things and seeing what the internet has to say about those things, particularly Quora, Reddit, and YouTube.
I am currently trying to learn guitar by watching online videos and learning how to read tablature. I like doing this because I don't know how to play any instruments and my brother came home with a guitar one day and it got me interested. I enjoy the sound of the guitar and think it would be a neat party trick too. I'm also trying to learn the drums but that instrument is pretty loud and I don't want to bother anybody with my terrible beginner mistakes.
I can also spend hours just listening to music and pacing around my house while thinking.
I started working out two weeks ago and I kinda like it. I have a schedule set but if I'm really bored I'll
As I answered in one of the above questions, I enjoy playing Texas Hold'em (and other card games actually) and just hanging out with my friends.
What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
If I'm learning how to do something that requires my hands, I need to see a demonstration and learn extremely slowly by trial and error. I don't do good in environments where I am put down for learning so slowly or chastised for trying to experiment. If I'm not genuinely interested in what it is I'm learning, I will learn even more slowly, if at all. I like classes that involve memorization and logic.
How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
My strategizing isn't too bad. I can identify a problem and come up with a solution and envision a way of getting there but I don't have the patience, discipline, or skill to enact that plan on my own. I am easily overwhelmed by tasks when under pressure and lose my ability to think, and I hate it when a plan goes wrong because I believe that it only failed because of a stupid oversight and my lack of intelligence. This crushes my confidence and kills my ability to come up with contingencies, especially if other people are aware of my failure.
If I'm by myself and not responsible for a group, I'll most likely improvise, but I'll go through the same problem as above if one of my ideas doesn't work.
If I'm not familiar with something but have time to learn about it, I'll spend that time learning about it as much as I can and make a plan. On the other hand, if I'm dealing with something I'm very knowledgeable about and comfortable with, I'm more likely to improvise since I could probably come up with something good on the spot.
What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I'm overweight so I want to lose that fat and build muscle to be healthy and have an amazing physique. I want to master the guitar. I want to make feature-length documentaries about various topics and important figures in my local history. I plan to start a podcast and interview whoever the hell I want as an excuse for me to talk to people and learn random things and share them with whoever wants to listen (this project is already in its beginning stages but I have a track record for not following through with ideas). I want to start my own business so I can be my own boss and just to be able to say that I made something.
I also want to rid myself of my fears and insecurities and have lots of friends.
What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I fear the disapproval of others. I never come across as a people pleaser, but I secretly want everybody to like me. I fear that if I come off us unentertaining, unintelligent, or incompetent, people will view me as boring, useless, and expendable, causing them to leave me. I fear being lonely as a result of my shortcomings.
I hate it when I have to do something that isn't fun/interesting to me simply because I have to. I also hate when I'm dragged into doing something I think is unnecessary or don't want to do simply because the person in charge says it is.
What do the "highs" in your life look like?
My highs are when I'm successful, happy, and loved and praised by others.
What do the "lows" in your life look like?
My lows are when I'm alone, a failure, or when I think I'm stupid.
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I could live in my imagination if I could. I can get so drawn into what I envision that I can forget where I am.
Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I would probably start by thinking about the value of social interactions and how the human mind works. Then I would imagine the alternate ways that my favorite shows/movies could have turned out if certain characters made different choices. I'd end up imagining my future self being successful. Eventually, I'd get bored and might even start to panic due to how blank and empty the room is then leave.
How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
It takes me quite a while to make an important decision. I'll spend a long time thinking about it then put it away for later when I end up nowhere or scared to make the decision. If it's important, I would have to thoroughly go through all my options, although that might just be a fancy way for me to say i keep second-guessing myself lol. I'll change my mind after making the decision as long as it's reversible if I realize how dumb it was or find a better option.
How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
I don't really process my emotions, but that doesn't mean I don't feel them. I like to feel positive emotions and normally don't feel sad. However, I do often feel like a stupid failure with no potential. When I do feel this, I'll think of ways to improve myself and address what's making me feel that way, but I'll become consumed in self-hatred and pity so I'll end up not acting on those plans. Eventually, I'll find something interesting to distract me.
Emotions are important in my life only because they are unavoidable. Positive emotions are good because they are literally what makes life enjoyable, while negative emotions suck ass.
Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
If I'm not nearly as familiar with the topic as the other person I'll probably agree with them at first because I don't know any better. However, I'll be piecing everything together in the back of my mind and might bring up something they said a few minutes ago because I finally understood it and don't agree with what they said.
I'm more likely to appease strangers because I am afraid to come off as rude and would like to make a good impression.
Once someone warms up to me and knows that I don't have malicious intent, I won't be afraid to disagree with them or even call them dumb. However, if they're the type that isn't willing to listen, I won't bother reasoning with them unless I'm incredibly frustrated or absolutely have to.
Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
If getting caught will get me punished, I'll follow the rules. If I think I could get away with it then I'll go for it as long as it isn't incredibly unethical. More often than not I'll play it safe. People should think for themselves and not be afraid to confront the authorities if they think they are being unreasonable. However, I do believe that rules are important for structuring an organization/game or anything that involves multiple people. Some are dumber than others though and that means they don't always need to be followed (by me at least.) I hate seeing others break rules that I follow because I don't like being held down by something that others (especially my peers) aren't.
What do you hope to achieve by finding your type?
Closure for one. I started my type journey thinking I was an ENTP ENTJ INTP ESFP ESFJ then ENFP but back to ENTP yet now I think I could be an ESTJ. I understand that nobody here could tell me my type with 100% certainty, but the input of you intelligent people of the internet will surely help me out. I plan to use the knowledge of my type as a tool for self-development which I think is very useful at my age. I can't deny that I want it for the validation. I understand that every cognitive is extremely important for the human mind and society as a whole but it would be neat to know that if I have the same general personality of some of the greatest minds in history. Even if my actual type isn't what I initially hoped it would be, it would still be me and I could only benefit from understanding myself.
How thick skinned are you? Are you sensitive to criticism?
I don't like criticism if I think it wasn't well thought out. I hate it when it's obviously wrong but people around me are too dumb to realize it but then they think I'm dumb. I'm not sensitive, but I hate being viewed as dumb. For some reason, however, even the smallest bit of criticism from my older brother, no matter how well-meaning (he is good-hearted and not a bad older person or brother at all) can make me crazy and throw tantrums. I can even get physical with him. Something about criticism when it comes from him just sends me over the edge and really makes me feel incredibly inferior to everyone around me.